the last few days of travel to Sitka

so installment #3 in Travels with Luna. The video is of the final days of travel to Sitka. The ferry portions aren’t very detailed as the weather wasn’t great and I was spending a little more time hanging out, napping, reading and talking with people on board.

I met a few very nice people as I spent my time on the boat. There were several people moving to Southeast communities, either returning home or new to the area. I talked with one new to Alaska guy moving to Sitka, took a job at the hospital… a story not that much different than my dad and mom’s in there move to Alaska!

enjoy. We are headed out to a cabin on Krusof Island to spend some time watching the surf pound the beach. There have been some storms out in the golf that should produce some great action. Action that Beth and I loved to sit and watch, a constant ‘noise’ to go to sleep by and to wake to. I plan to spend some time on the beach with my eyes closed, my heart open and my mind in conversation with her.

peace.

video #2 Travels with Luna

A quick post of video and pictures from day 3 and 4 on the road with Luna. This was from Quensel Lake to just west of Vanderhof. One black bear sighting and lots of mountain views…

from my journal entry 8/14/09:

the loons are vocal here, Beth would have loved listening to them. Lots of king fishers, a few ravens, just heard a heron squawking, eagles around too.

Conversations weren’t constant, we appreciated silent thought, reflection and observation. Sitting here now after three days of no real conversation is deafing…

…the root of rage, aggressiveness and anger is fear…

Travels with Luna- Chronicle 1

Over the next several days I will work on posting some media and thoughts from our road trip from Seattle to Sitka.

Now and again I got the camera out to video a stop or my camp for the night. That first day was a pretty hard one for me to get into a good space for traveling. I didn’t take many pictures until or video until I was well into Canada.

My plan was to be on the road sometime in the morning, at least before noon anyway. Well as it would have it I didn’t get out of the house until after 1 that afternoon. I spent at least an hour just trying to collect myself so that I could walk out of the house. I was having a hard time convincing myself that I hadn’t forgotten anything and that it was okay to leave, take care of myself at this moment and that Beth was going to be okay where ever she was.

from my journal: 8/13/2009

along the Frazer River
Steep face of rock, silted flow of the Frazer
A winding road to other places

I have been talking about how I “negotiate” my new world… its really more like being held hostage by loneliness.

Its impossible to walk in anothers shoes, yet I find myself constantly looking for the footprints of Beth, trying to recreate pathes, patterns and journeys.

I spent 38 years creating myself, a way of life, a compass to follow, 17 of that was coupled and guided with another. From here on, I start over! Its like the compass is in a constant spin right now. I can’t tell direction. I can’t make decisions. No matter now small they each feel like they will change things forever, or have consequences that can not be reversed. The regression I feel back to being a kid locks up my mind and I feel as though I start over now.

As you read this chronicle of my journey, I only want for you to understand a bit of where I come from these days. I hope that my reflections also might lend insight into some of who Beth was to me and to others around her. I hold her spirit close to me every day, every minute. Expressing some of this eases my pain and I hope does the same for you. thank you for being here with me…