playing a little catch-up

sorry to all for not getting updates up regularly lately about the house… over the past several weeks Pete and I were working insanely long days in order to get the house buttoned up before my two week trip down to Seattle. I was at the house for at least 10 hours a day if not 12 or 13. We worked every minute we could up to a somewhat courteous 8pm curfew on powertools and hammering….

Here are a few pictures of where things are now.

Link is to a video of the trusses from the inside of the house.

trusses up and a cover over the house

a day of appreciation

woke up this morning thinking about how much my mom has given me over the past almost 39 years. We take for granted a lot of times the things our mothers did for us in our childhood years. Some hard to remember, some very formative. I am very grateful for all of that. I am also extremely lucky and appreciative for how my mom has stood beside me in the last several years, supporting not only me but how she was there for Beth.

There were many times when mom would drop what ever was going on here in Sitka and come down to spend time with us. She was there unconditionally for whatever we might have needed. I know for myself I would have been in an entirely different place had it not been for her support, love and understanding.

It pains me too that we have that mutual understanding of how life can change as it has. We don’t talk about it much but I think we have an unspoken understanding about what each other might need. How to negotiate ourselves around in our new worlds, and when to step in and be there for one another. Though, as usual, mom is there for me more than I am there for her I think.

Happy Mothers Day, today and always mom. Also, a very happy mothers day to Erika. A mom with the energy, drive and compassion of 100 moms! You rock! Many, many happy wishes to all of my other ‘moms’ out there! I love you all!

building on a good foundation

So this process of course has a lot of parallels in it that are symbolic in my life of course. I sometimes feel its a little too much to even admit or write about. Always referring to the grand metaphors, reflecting about how life tells us things about ourselves, feeling like there is some reason I find myself stopping to think back about what just happened and what lies ahead. It all can feel a little “whoo, whoo” sometimes! Ah, whatever… it is what it is.
I found myself thinking a lot about foundations over the past couple of weeks. How starting with a solid, well planned, no corners cut foundation makes for  a much nicer base to build from. We spend a lot of time, and I am sure more money, in making this house foundation work right. I have a great pad to build on now, a great place to start creating the rest of the house and I guess what could become my home.

The foundation of my life was very well built in my years with Beth. I feel like I wasn’t able to fully complete it, though think I have tried to continue with the solid platform I have so far. Every now and again I feel like I slip a little. Then I bring myself back to working it out right.

so much progress

So we have been working hard at pushing a lot of dirt around and have started on the forms for the foundation. I have had little time to sit and write. Well, I had sometime the other night but it was spent nursing a twisted ankle, which is doing much better though I still have to step carefully!

this is from day one of the excavation…

pictures from the next couple of days… I will get another montage put together tonight.

3/3/03 …

Seven years ago yesterday. I was never very good with dates, and in the last year actually knowing what day it is can be a stretch for me. I woke up this morning thinking that it was 3/3/10 so I guess I am actually a day late on remembering the significance of yesterdays anniversary.
It was seven years ago as I mentioned before that Beth was wheeled out of her first surgery, tumor free. That successful first surgery brought us 5 plus years of tumor free living. It wasn’t easy times, and for the first several we lived in fear of hearing the dreaded words of her cancer’s return. But we lived a lot in those years following. I think that is part of the reason why I don’t feel sad thinking about this being seven years after that time, yet she isn’t with me any more. I remember a lot of trials, but I also remember hikes, kayak trips, travels to South America, birthdays, road trips, family gatherings, nephews and nieces being born. Life went on and we lived it. Life for me now goes on and I am trying my best to live it.
It’s turning out to be a beautiful day here in Sitka. It snowed this morning and now the sun is out and the air is crisp. I am going back outside…

words from a friend’s blog

http://www.blizzardd.blogspot.com/

“BREATHE DEEP OF THAT YET SWEET AND LUCID AIR, SIT QUIETLY FOR A WHILE AND CONTEMPLATE THE PRECIOUS STILLNESS, THAT LOVELY, MYSTERIOUS, AND AWESOME SPACE.”

The above blog is by a woman who Erika and I met in Austin at last year’s Ride of the Roses. Liz is battling lung cancer and has inspired me with her words and musings. She is really strong and is battling really hard right now. Her foe has been tough but I think she has been just a little tougher in her fight. I am thinking of you Liz and sending you all the healing energy that I can from the ‘Last Frontier’! Be well

the slag has been burned

Just finished up burning up my seven foot tall slag pile. Most of it was brush and branches from the lot clearing that the previous owner had started on. When I first got to town three weeks ago I decided to pile it all up and burn it up rather than having to pay for a dump load of greens. The first several weeks of being in town it has been far too dry to safely burn that big of a pile so I decided to wait for a few days of rain. Turned out to be a good call as this pile would have been a pretty big fire had it not been nice and wet!
I was going to take a few pictures of it while it was burning in the beginning but it turned out that tending it was all I could do. Garden hose in hand I kept the pile from fully errupting and tended a very hot spot to pull everything else over to. About four hours later I was left with what you see here… though by the time I had it down to this level I had already had a visit from the fire department! whoops, should have warned them I guess. They didn’t come rushing over and didn’t actually seem all that concerned when they arrived as they chatted with my neighbor for 10 minutes before they came over to talk with me. The conversation was cordual and ended with a friendly suggestion that next time I might come down and get a burn permit from them. Who knew! Well, not the 10 or so people that I talked to about doing the burn over the past couple of weeks. I guess talking with the local authorities might be a wise idea rather than asking random friends!

It really helps having that pile out of the way as I am beginning to be able to see better what I might like to do with the various designs have developed over the past six months. I will be sitting down with a number of my favorites to see if additional ideas come into view. My hope is to have at least a good enough idea of a general foot print for the house so that I can scratch out a building pad and more of a driveway later this month. Then once I have the plans okayed by the city building planners, I should be able to go forward with the foundation! I can almost picture the framing going up now! Yeah!

freedom, roots and love

Funny sometimes how it seems I need to regress in order to progress. I have often felt like coming home I regress a little in my character, maybe a longing to be taken care of.  I used to come home and tease my sister and harass her, something like being back in high school or our childhoods. Though over time I do that less, if any at all. I suppose there is the fact that a lot of growing up has happened over the past 6 years. Erika has a family. They are wonderful people in the community and command a great deal of respect for the things that they do here. Erika and Pete do everything they can in raising two wonderful boys and have tons of fun with them. They have also shown me a lot of love and support in taking me into their home. Generous people, and loving family.

Making things simpler in order to dig deeper, to open up things that have been saved for another time. Sitka is beginning to provide me a grounded feeling. Its almost like I can feel my roots begin to grow again, to feed my soul. Standing watching Kobi and Pete play in the surf the other day at Sandy Beach, looking at the stars on my walks with Luna in the evenings, standing on my property and feeling the ground beneath me. All of what I was looking for and more in moving up here.

Acting like I am a kid again seems to allow me a little freedom to explore other paths in my internal workings and on my external being as well. Kobi and Anan are daily reminders that I can’t take myself too seriously. I have to let somethings go, to let myself play again and to relax my grip on life a little. I can’t control it all. I can let myself live, love and be loved. I will learn to live life out loud in many ways, some familiar and some new.

I

Landed

the trip north…

“I think over again my small adventures My fears, those small ones that seemed so big All the vital things I had to get and to reach Yet, there is only one great thing, the only thing To live to see the great day that dawns And the light that fills the world”, Farley Mowat – Never Cry Wolf

Jaime and I had a great trip north. We spent lots of time relaxing, reading, talking about life and adventures ahead, writing and looking off into the world unfolding in front of us and passing behind. The actual ferry ride turned out to be pretty uneventful. Calm seas, even in Queen Charlotte Sound, where we were warned several times by the purser, “it can be rough, if you happen to be over the age of 40 (!), please take extra precautions. Hold handrails as you move around the ship, and maybe even think about staying seated for the hour long crossing or find a nice place to lay down or lay on the floor. You are more likely to break or fracture bones as they are more brittle with age.” He said this not just once, but twice at least before each crossing of open water! I mean come on 40! We had to laugh!

So first stop after about 38 hours of being under way; Ketchikan, Alaska. We arrived at 9:30 am and decided to hop off the boat as the scheduled departure wasn’t until 3:00pm that afternoon. We were hungry and wanted to find some of the local fare to sample. A short walk into town, we found ourselves at Dave’s Red Anchor. Looked local, so it must be a good one right? Well, it was pretty good. Jaime enjoyed a scramble and I had a 2×2x2 (short stack with eggs), which they actually made a three stack as I didn’t get the  latter half of the 2 (sausage, bacon or ham). After several cups of coffee and our hearty meals we decided it was time to stroll down the way and see what was up in town. Mind you it was Sunday morning so not much was really happening until… we came upon the Totem Bar.

I am not sure that the Totem is the seediest bar in town but it certainly had a loyal following at 11 am that morning, and many of those fans had been there long before we happened in the door. We ordered up our vitamin R for the morning, as Jaime was fond of saying “when in Rome”, and sat near the front (as close to the door for air and what ever else might be necessary). Jaime made quick friends, Sonny introduced himself to Jaime in the bathroom and then came over to the table to reintroduce himself later as well as to me. We got to talking, well Sonny did most of the talking, we had to listen very carefully to understand, see a. Sonny was fairly drunk by 11 am and b. I am not sure how many teeth the guy still had so the slurring was exaggerated. So long Sonny story short… Sonny is a Sourdough. As he explained, “Sour on the country, short on the dough to get out!”

After our cans of Rainier were quaffed Jaime and I decided it was time to move on. Maybe find a place where we could sit and do a little reading or maybe writing. Down the way we came upon the ‘ol 49′er. Another local place, though this one a little more refined. Free WiFi and a little less smokey atmosphere, pool tournament going on in the back of the bar. We sat for a while, Jaime enabling his out of office message and me reading. We then observed a guy at the bar plowing through, what seemed like a couple hundred pull tabs, and got to talking about that whole thing. We then decided to give it a try. 10 cards later we had 5 winners for $1 each, then two, then one, then none. Hmm, time to head down the way to find some lunch before getting back on the boat.

Ketchikan to Wrangell then Petersburg went very smooth. Jaime and I stood at the front of the boat as we went through Wrangell Narrows at midnight, a very tight and twisted passageway that the ferries negotiate with precision. It is amazing to see what they will go through with such a big boat and there wasn’t any fog that night! After getting sufficiently chilled we headed back to our sleeping quarters.

Our Solarium digs

The sleeping arrangements, which some would have said I should have tackled much earlier in this post, were up on the solarium deck on the top aft of the ferry. There were only about 10 of the 150 souls on board the boat out of Bellingham who braved the conditions up there. In the summers there are many more of course, but the winters, well Jaime and I were some of the last on the final legs of the journey. And we considered differently at one point but had to stay to see the solarium journey through to the end. We both had our sleeping cots with sleeping pads and bags to snuggle up in. The first couple of nights were pretty comfortable and the nights after that we layered a few more clothes and I mummied up a little more in the bag. All in all I am really happy that we stayed up there. Great fresh air and a much more calm environment than being in one of the below deck lounges.

Juneau kind of came and went for us. Mostly spending time in the solarium or in the lounge reading, writing and talking. Next stops were Haines and Skagway. Haines was fine, most of our solarium brethren departed, as I would guess that about half of the ferries car bookings were to Haines as people made their way north to Anchorage, Wasilla, Fairbanks and other parts.

Skagway, well Skagway turned out to be a whole ‘nother story!

This is the scene that we encountered when we first walked into the town of Skagway. It was a ghost town! Not a car. Not a store front open. No one, I mean no one but us on the main street of town. We walked down a few blocks and peeled off on a side street where it looked like there was a Radio Shack open. As we approached the door someone was coming out and he informed us that nothing is open on Sundays or Mondays in town, except of course the Eagles and the Moose. So much for the dinner and beers in Skagway I guess. Well not so fast. Jaime had a possible here, his Mom, Dad, Step-Dad and Grandfather were all Eagles, maybe they could get us into the venerable FOE. A quick call to Mom for her number and off we went in search. We found it, made it through the front door and up to the bar to explain. Mom’s number, nope that doesn’t do us any good. Other family affiliations, nope, the same, we had to have a sponsor and that comes as a liability of some sort that no one in the bar was willing to take in the two of us. Well, one last thing. Jaime’s Mom on a recent trip up to Skagway on a cruise and in a visit to the Eagles there ran into an old Elma, WA resident and someone from Jaime’s class, Clint. So last ditch Jaime mentioned knowing Clint. And if the entire place didn’t turn around and recognize Clint’s name being thrown out there, well we would have been headed back to the boat at that very moment. We were instant friends with everyone there and immediately were sponsored in and allowed to saddle up to the bar. Two minutes later, Clint was walking through the door after someone gave Jaime his number and the call made. We stay as long as we possibly could. Jaime sitting talking with Clint, and I with Ken the 24 year resident of the bar stool next to me… and I had no doubt that he called that stool his. Skagway will forever hold a place in my heart as one decent town!

We made our way back to the ferry, carefully as it had become pretty slippery and our friends at the Eagles had been pretty generous with buying us drinks. The purser and loading crew were glad to see us make it back and we shoved off as soon as Jaime and I were on board. Another stop in Haines and Juneau were made before we embarked for Sitka waters. And at 3:00pm Tuesday we drove off the ferry, 3 days and 21 hours after boarding in Bellingham, to a very excited welcoming committee of Erika, Pete, Kobi, Anan, Mom and Luna.

Driving into town was great! Luna riding beside me in the front of the truck. Pete and Jaime in the new truck for Pete and Erika, and everyone else following behind.

The last several days have been filled with unloading, organizing and settling into my new/old surroundings. I have also spent a little time doing some work on the property. Luna and I have been having a great time being back in each others company. And being here with the family has been great! They are busy as ever and I am trying to step right into all the activities. That being said, expect more from me soon. That is if I can muster the energy to write…

For now, ciao.

Año Nuevo

New Year's Eve day, Quito, Ecuador 1998. We walked the streets of Quito with Erika, watching the parades and parties. Later that evening the people burned the parade floats and effigies in celebration of the turning of the New Year

Año Nuevo, the New Year.

In some countries, including Ecuador, one of the traditions is to burn a effigy, symbolizing a cleaning out of the old year and a welcoming of the new. We witnessed a massive party at the turn from 1998 to 1999 in the streets of Ecuador and some pretty incredible effigies. Some representing political figures and turmoil, some famous and infamous people in the world who had passed that year, and lots of random representations of things that people wanted to honor or usher away from the year of 1998.

I have been thinking about what that means to me this year… how do I pass this one into some sort of history bank, how do I pay tribute to, and escort on the year of 2009? What do I set aflame? Will it burn slowly, smolder until it is only ashes? Do I add a splash of accelerant and help the conflagration reach the sky? Maybe lighting the match and sitting back to watch the flames lick the air, contemplating life as one does around a campfire, would be more appropriate.

I don’t know what I am going to do this New Years Eve. I know I will spend it thinking largely of Beth and our many years passed together. In the last 17, I don’t remember spending any without her, though that could be a matter of revisionist history.

I do go forward knowing that next year will bring new things. I don’t want to expect any outcome from those things, other than it being a different experience. Good, bad or indifferent, I know it will happen. I won’t go into 2010 with expectations at this point. Expectations right now feels like I could be setting myself up, possibly for more pain, though some would say that would seem difficult to do given the past year. No matter I will walk forward into my Año Nuevo.